Reports of the Death of Innovation Greatly Exaggerated

Is Jessie Jackson a Republican Double Agent?

-> Email from cousin George, a prominent immigration lawyer from Portland, ME:

I’m in mourning for the republic. Welcome to the new right-wing theocracy. Maybe Americans will start voting for Democrats when their children are forced to attend Baptist schools.

-> My reply:

Oh, chill out! A little Baptist preachin’ never hurt anybody. The problem is that Democrats are right-minded, but they are bumbling idiots. Republicans, on the other hand, are generally competent, highly functional assholes. Don’t worry, the Democrats will start winning again in a few years when the majority of the ununincarcerated population consists of lawyers.

-> George

Here is the solution–a large number of Democrats need to ‘join’ the Republican Party. Then they can slowly extirpate the lunatic fringe of the Republican Party. Then the Republican Party will basically be vaguely moralistic Clintonites and will win every election.

-> me

The reason this wouldn’t work is that Democrats have poor oral impulse control and couldn’t repress it while working under cover. Furthermore, the Republicans have beat them to the punch. The democratic party is infested with Republican agent provocateurs.

-> George

Immigration Canada says they will accept me, wife and kids. Application fee is $4,000 U.S.

Notes:

– George likes the French because they admire socalist losers.

– This heretofore unpublished dialog is in it’s 30th year.

Hakim and Bunga

“Please wait. Your call will be answered in the order it was received.” This bugs me. I know it might be nitpicky but I can’t help it. Maybe I studied too much math or computer science. But doesn’t order apply to sets of things? What’s wrong with, “Please wait. Calls are answered in the order they are received.” Hey, I don’t mind bad grammar, it’s stupidity that bugs me. I’m trying to figure out where it started. At first I was thinking, how incredibly dumb that somebody came up with this stupid phrase and it caught on. Monkey hear, monkey speak. But I’ve noticed that the voice always sounds roughly the same (I think there are both male and female voice versions). Nortel and Edify are the top vendors of Interactive Voice Response (IVR) systems. I wonder if one of them doesn’t ship with the message built in. If anybody knows the answer, please email me.

Honk if you’ve never seen an uzi fired from a car window

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BungaRucka (real audio)

Bunga Pads

Quote of the day:

I can’t remember everything I have to do or what I did under normal circumstances.

–William Miller

Radio Free New Orleans

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